< What We Do

What is Domestic and Family Violence?

Domestic violence is abusive, threatening or coercive behaviour used by one person to control or dominate another person.  It is behaviour which is ongoing and persistent, through which a partner tries to undermine the other person’s independence, confidence, sense of safety or ability to seek help.  This includes behaviour that controls, dominates or causes a person to fear for their (or their loved ones) personal safety or wellbeing.

Domestic and family violence is sometimes called domestic terrorism with victims often saying that they feel they are always “walking on eggshells”.

Here are some of the many categories of abusive behaviour:-

• physical or sexual abuse e.g. hitting, pushing, strangulation or unwanted sexual contact or forcing participation in unwanted practices;

• social abuse e.g isolating someone from family and friends, restricting work and social activities, controlling appearance, sabotaging social outings, making accusations of affairs;

• emotional or psychological abuse e.g. belittling, making comments, threatening suicide, mind games to make a person feel bad about themselves or doubt themselves;

• economic abuse e.g. limiting a person’s access to money or unreasonably making them account for every cent, forcing them to hand over funds or assets or take out loans and credit cards;

• threatening behaviour e.g. forcing a person to behave in a certain way by threatening to hurt a child or pet or someone else;

• verbal abuse e.g. insults, name calling, lying, dominating conversations;

• stalking  e.g. excessive texts, phone calls, monitoring social media, driving past home or work, turning up in places frequented by the victim and following the victim in public places, vandalising property;

• technology facilitated abuse e.g. tracking a person through mobile devices, monitoring financial, phone and other accounts, sharing intimate photos on social media; and

• spiritual e.g. using beliefs to justify behaviours, demanding or presenting spiritual practice.

When a person asks someone else to commit abusive, monitoring or violent behaviour towards an individual they currently or previously had a relationship with, this is also considered domestic violence.

Domestic and family violence can happen once but it usually involves an ongoing pattern of violence or abuse over time. This may cause an individual to live in fear of another person, most often their partner or former partner.

Domestic and family violence is sometimes called domestic terrorism with victims often saying that they feel they are always “walking on eggshells.

We all are.  Domestic and family violence is not just a crime against an individual but also a crime against the whole community.

Anyone can become a victim of domestic violence, but women are far more likely to be victims then men.  Young women, First Nations Women, women living with a disability and transgender women experience even higher rates of domestic and family violence.

Children exposed to domestic violence are also can experience a range of impacts on almost every aspect of their physical and mental wellbeing. Domestic and family violence is also a major cause of youth homelessness in Australia. The impacts of this experience remain with these children throughout their life and impact on their own relationships with partners and children.

Children exposed to domestic violence can feel confused, unsafe, anxious and very scared.  We know that children who witness DFV are experiencing domestic violence.  Children are especially vulnerable often blaming themselves or being blamed by a parent for the violence.  Children can also develop unrealistic levels of vigilance and responsibility to keep a parent safe.  Children can, as adults, and especially in times of stress, default to the patterns of behaviour modelled by their parents in childhood.  As adults we are responsible for teaching children that violence is a personal choice.

Family and friends also experience guilt and grief and can feel like helpless bystanders.  Domestic and Family violence can shatter relationship within broader family and friendship groups.

Domestic and Family Violence doesn’t just happen in other communities – it happens within the families and relationships of people of our churches. In the 2019 National Anglican Family Violence Research Project conducted by NCLS Research, when asked the direct question “Have you ever been in a violent relationship with any partner?” approximately 23% of Anglicans who had ever been in an adult intimate relationship said “yes”. (This compared to 15% for the equivalent group of the general Australian public in the same study.)

In response to this survey the Church developed the Ten Commitments (LINK) The Ten Commitments to provide a foundation to guide work to make the church a place where women, men and children are safe; where violence is prevented, where the wounded are healed and justice prevails, so that God’s grace can flow into the lives of all, insofar as we can achieve such outcomes.

The commitments focus on preventative actions in addition to training our ministers and improving care for those who have experienced abuse.

1. Our Church acknowledges and laments the violence which has been suffered by some of our members and repents of the part we have played in allowing an environment where violence went unaddressed.

2. Our Church leaders commit to

   • ensure conditions that support the prevention of violence;

   • church culture that promotes equality; and

   • support for those who experience violence.

3. Our Church consistently teaches about

   • equality;

   • freedom from violence;

   • respectful relationships; and

   • the honour/value of every person.

4. Our Church affirms that human relationships are to be based on respect and mutuality.

5. Our Church acknowledges the different experiences of all people and that these have played a part in whether they have been treated with respect and equality.

6. Our Church actions are directed by the gospel of love, peace and justice, and are informed and engaged with local, state and national government initiatives as appropriate.

7. Our Church supports cultural change in our communities by communicating effectively to our members.

8. Our Church trains our leaders, pastoral staff and parish councils to understand and be equipped to respond in ways that prevent and address domestic and family violence.

9. Our leaders and pastoral staff hold themselves to account and are guided by the Anglican Church’s Code of Conduct: Faithfulness in Service. These commitments are regularly reviewed and improved.

10. These commitments are regularly reviewed and improved.

In 2023 the ACSQ is undertaking many activities to roll out the Ten Commitments.  Four guiding principles for this work will be:-

1. An assertive theological position that increases understanding and rejection of the misuse of scripture to justify abuse and reject all forms of spiritual abuse;

2. A structural approach in recognising that the gendered nature of domestic and family violence reflects inequality in our institutions and in society;

3. Enhance prevention, recognition, response, and recovery support throughout our Church community; and

4. Creating safe churches that welcome and protect those who have experienced domestic and family violence.

Regular news items will be distributed through Anglican Focus and Wednesday Weekly to broaden our understanding of DFV and, how legislative changes, in particular the introduction of coercive control legislation in Queensland will impact on our community. 

Queensland Churches Together Is an organisation which commenced over 30 years ago and aims to enhance dialogue with people of other faiths and ideologies. ACSQ has been a member of Queensland Churches Together since its inception.

Queensland Churches Together Members:

Anglican Diocese of Southern Queensland • Anglican Diocese of North Queensland • Coptic Orthodox Church • Greek Orthodox Church • Indian Orthodox Church • Lutheran Church of Australia: Queensland District • Queensland Congregational Fellowship • Religious Society of Friends (Quakers) – a non-credal church • Catholic Archdiocese of Brisbane • Catholic Diocese of Cairns • Catholic Diocese of Rockhampton • Catholic Diocese of Townsville • Catholic Diocese of Toowoomba • Romanian Orthodox Church • Salvation Army • Uniting Church in Australia Queensland Synod

Joint Churches Domestic Violence Prevention Project (JCDVPP) was established in 1991 in response to the needs of victims and perpetrators of Domestic Family Violence in the Church and community. It was set up in recognition that in many instances those needs were being inadequately or inappropriately addressed by the church.

The group seeks to address the problem by raising the awareness of clergy and lay people through workshops and the publication of literature.

Revision four (2021) of the much acclaimed booklet, ‘the Good, the Bad and the Ugly: Questions Women ask about Relationships and Christian Beliefs.  Copies are available from QCT for $5 plus postage. EPub or MOBI file versions are also available.  Please download the order form here and return to admin@qct.org.au.

More details about this project, can be found here.

National or Queensland Wide Services

• 1800RESPECT is the National sexual assault and family and domestic violence counselling line. 1800 737 732

• DVConnect is a 24-hour Crisis Support line for anyone impacted by domestic or family violence. 1800 811 811

• Mensline (DVConnect) is a free and confidential helpline that assists men to change their abusive behaviours or to access safety from abuse. 1800 600 636 between 9am and midnight, 7 days a week.

• Men’s Referral Service is a National helpline for men who use violence. 1300 766 491

• Lifeline is a 24-hour telephone counselling and referral service. 13 11 14

• Kids Helpline is a 24-hour free counselling service for young people aged between 5 and 25. 1800 55 1800

• Suicide Call Back Service offers free professional counselling services. 1300 659 467

• Beyond Blue is a mental health service. 1300 22 4636

Regional Specialist DFV Services

• Brisbane Domestic Violence Service 07 3217 2544

• Centacare Roma 07 4196 9777

• Centre Against Domestic Abuse (Caboolture) 07 5498 9533

• Edon Place Domestic and Family Violence Centre (Bundaberg) 07 4153 6820

• Gold Coast Domestic Violence Prevention Centre Inc. 07 5591 4222

• Domestic Violence Action Centre - Ipswich 07 3816 3000; Toowoomba 07 4642 1354

• Gympie Region Domestic and Family Violence Service 07 5413 8088

• Immigrant Women’s Support Service (IWSS) Brisbane 07 3846 3490

• Sunshine Coast Regional Domestic Violence Service 07 5430 9300

• Working Against Violence Support Service Inc.  (Logan and Districts) 07 3808 5566

• The Centre for Women (Redlands) 07 3286 7766 

Anglicare Southern Queensland

In Southern Queensland, Anglicare operates several services in response to Domestic and Family Violence including support, counselling and behaviour change programs for both those who are impacted by violence and men who use violence.

1300 114 397

There are several service finders available to help find community services and these can be very useful for people leaving violent relationships or to discover useful local services – here are a couple.

• Ask Izzy is an app that connects people to a range of services. 

• Lady Musgrave Trust Handy Guide for Women. The Trust is Queensland’s oldest charity in Queensland and for many years has produced the Handy Guide for Women both in hard copy and online. The Guide also contains a lot of useful information on domestic and family violence.

• Be There App – A domestic violence bystander support app. Produced through the Mate Program at Griffith University in Brisbane the “Be there” app is targeted at the bystander rather than people directly impacted by Domestic and Family Violence. 

• Ten Commitments for Prevention and Response to Domestic and Family Violence in the Anglican Church of Australia

• Queensland Churches Together Domestic Family Violence Resources

• QCT sells a booklet “The Good The Bad and the Ugly” – Questions Women ask about Relationships and Christian Beliefs which is used extensively in Parishes to raise awareness of DFV.

• The DFV Prevention Centre on the Gold Coast produces an excellent ebook; The Purple Book which provides lots of helpful information and service information. 

• On the Way Podcast - Jess Hill on Power, Control and Domestic Abuse - St John's Cathedral - 14 May 2023

• Common Grace began in 2014 as a story of prayer and conversation with a focus on social justice.  Their website has several resources specifically targeted on DFV.

•  Love and Power - Can the power of love replace the love of power? Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks, Templeton Prize 2016 - YouTube

• Toxic Love Signs – Alison Baden Clay Foundation

• Powerful stories from lived experience - Love does not equal Control Qld Government

• Working with young people - Could your teenager be in an abusive relationship? Here’s what to do - ABC listen

• Understanding domestic violence and Domestic Violence Orders is explained in these short videos in English, Aslan and a range of other languages. Videos on domestic violence court process | Queensland Courts

Two excellent sources of DFV Training endorsed for use in this Diocese are:-

1. Responding to Domestic and Family Violence – Ridley Theological College in Melbourne.  A free, self paced, online course targeted at Clergy but available to anyone seeking training grounded in Church environments. 

2. DV-alert has offered training in DFV for over a decade and offer a range of face to face and online courses. They have an excellent 2 hour, free introductory session for any person wanting to find out more about domestic abuse.

3. Queensland Churches Together (QCT) also offers training especially targeted at Church communities.